Views: 30 · Added: 7 hours ago
And my life was just trash
1 comments ·
Views: 41 · Added: 14 hours ago
I'm thankful for good health, family ,friends online and offline. I'm spankful for enjoying this website for over 5 years.
Views: 52 · Added: 14 hours ago
You get off the bus & walk down the road. You have just finished work & you are looking forward to having something to eat. You know that your husband will have cooked a meal for you. Chances are it will be something… bland. There are no surprises in life anymore.
You love him. No, you think you still love him. But life with him has become predictable… tedious.
Deep down you have become resentful… angry. You punish him by restricting and denying him sex. It hurts you, but it hurts him more. You have become spiteful.
He does not know why you punish him & you do not enlighten him. He must work it out for himself. If he can. If he so chooses.
You turn right into the close where you live. The close could be anywhere in the country; anywhere in the world. You recall with bitterness that he wanted to live here. He said it would handy for work. He said it would be close to town. He said it was modern & easy to maintain; a characterless bungalow in a characterless close. A characterless husband. A characterless existence.
The sky is overcast & you feel the first drops of rain on your face as you approach the place you now, laughingly, call… home. You think of the evening ahead of you unfolding, no, enfolding - Is that a word? Who cares? - of soaps; mundane chit-chat; surfing the net like flicking aimlessly through the pages of a vacuous glossy magazine; maybe a film & then… bed. Naked together under the covers, you subtlety teasing him; so near & yet… so far. Him erect & frustrated clumsily pawing at you. You saying, I’m not really in the mood. Him sighing & turning over. Later, feeling his erection pushed between the crease of your buttocks. & the only thing that has given you the least bit of gratification since being home is denying him… his gratification - sad.
You slot your key into the lock & see his figure move behind the frosted glass. He pulls open the door for you, like a faithful dog welcoming home his master & you almost expect him to jump up & lick your face. Your contempt for him shocks you - almost.
He leans forward to kiss you on the lips, he seeks, desires to French kiss you, but you turn away at the last instance & his kiss merely grazes your cheek.
‘What’s for dinner?’
‘I thought maybe you’d like…’
You watch him about to flounder & are annoyed that he has not even bothered to prepare a meal.
You remove your coat and hang it on the hook.
‘Thought… what… exactly? That I wouldn’t be hungry after a hard day at work… hmmm?’
‘I thought perhaps… I thought perhaps… because it has been a long time… that we could make love… & then go out for a curry after… be a treat… be something… different.’
‘Get out of my way, I’ll get something out of the freezer and cook it… myself!’
He remains in front of you, blocking you. So, you go to move round him & he extends his arm to the wall…
‘I said… get out of my way.’
‘No… no, I won’t… I want… sex… & I want it… now.’
His un-characteristic directness momentarily takes you out of your stride. But you collect yourself.
‘In your dreams… in your fucking dreams buster. & didn’t I just say get out of my way.’
There’s a blur and a shock to the side of your face. You realise that he has slapped you across your left cheek. & you can suddenly taste something metallic upon your tongue - blood?
He slaps you again and you stumble against the wall. You feel strong - surprisingly strong - fingers grab round your right wrist and pull you into the hallway. You shoot your left arm out and grip hold of the door frame…
‘Let go you fucking game playing bitch. I’m going to get what is mine. What I’m legally entitled to. I’m going to fuck you & you can’t stop me!’
You feel fear, real fear, but also something else, something… primal.
‘Get off… now or I’ll call the fucking police!’
‘Fucking call them!’
You attempt to kick him in the shins & as you do he twists you round & whips his arm from around your neck. You attempt to dig your heels into the carpet but it slips and ravels up. Half choking, screaming mutely & struggling he drags you slowly through the bedroom door. You feel his arm move round to your front & brace yourself for a grope of your breasts but instead he rips apart your short-sleeved company shirt & you hear the buttons pop off and scatter in all directions. He throws you down onto the bed before slapping your face without respite for what seems minutes but is in actual fact seconds & stunned you now allow him to remove the shreds of your shirt. He then unclips your bra & pulls it out roughly from under your back.
You can’t believe that this is happening… to you.
Suddenly he is pulling your bare arms behind your head & something cold is being snapped around them. The bastard, the fucking bastard, has handcuffed you to the head board.
‘I’m going to get you fucking jailed for this. Make the fucking most of it, cos it will be the first and last time…’
You hear him snigger. You listen to him grunt… & realise that he is beyond reason, beyond everything. & so are you. & so are you.
You look into his eyes, his animal eyes, you have never seen this before in him & he glares back at you, through you. & then he pulls out his broad leather belt from his jeans, makes certain you can see him do it, grins evilly…
‘You’ve had this coming for a long time… a long time.’
‘No… please don’t… I’ll do anything… don’t hurt me… I’ll do anything…’
‘Too late darling… too late.’
You close your eyes & a scorching line of pain travels across your upper stomach and right breast. You burn & bring your knees up. & then he lashes you again. & again. You scream & cry. Scream & cry - the pain. The agony becomes molten as he thrashes your torso with his belt, your tits & tummy feel as though the flesh is being torn off… flayed…
& then you notice that it is has ceased, there is a lull. & then you just discern that your trousers & knickers are being tugged off. & then you ask him gently, if he wouldn’t mind stopping because you can’t take anymore.
Now completely naked he rolls you roughly onto your stomach such that your secured arms cross over. Terrified you wait for the heavy leather belt to strike your uncovered and vulnerable buttocks… & it does… he does. Blow after agonising blow, time after time. You hate him, you hate him, you hate him…
& then the hate… the anger… the injustice… the pain… become as… nothing… as nothing… & in the fog of your mind a feeling of freedom… liberation begins to engulf you. You wonder if you are dying… & then a clarity… yes a clarity manifests itself… freedom is freedom from… freedom…
‘Thank you… thank you my husband… my husband… fuck me like you have never before.’
& you let him penetrate you… yearn for him to rip your cunt apart with his lust… crave for him to spurt his spunk into you. & and as you surrender to him a single tear runs down your swollen & hurting cheek. Not a tear of sorrow… not a tear of hurt… but a tear of release… liberation… a tear of freedom… true freedom…
This used to be one of my missus's favourite fantasies. I would frig her off to it.
2 comments ·
Views: 30 · Added: 16 hours ago
I keep coming back to this one. Rain, the spanker, is very sexy in the way she gets her business done.
I'm yours anytime, Rain (email@example.com).
0 comments ·
Views: 147 · Added: 16 hours ago
Okay, usually I'm not running 2 blogs at the same time. But THIS I have to share cause it's a thing that (yet again) upsets me to the highest level:
This morning I stumbled accross an interview on the net, by ShiaLaBeouf.
The actor did some art performance earlier this year where he was sitting in a room and people could walk in, sit with him for a while and do whatever they wanted, ... talk, cry, stare,... there was a table with implements (props from his movies and such) they could take and make use of.
Well long story short: "There was that woman who picked the "Indiana-Jones-Whip" from that table and then would whip his legs for about 10 minutes, stripping his clothes afterwards and proceeded to rape him."
(Element of that performance was him taking whatever happens without reacting in any way!)
So he took that whipping and when she was done, she left that room and returned to her partner, while everybody queuing up outside KNEW what just had happened (he said).
I read this and I was like: WTF?!!!
That was a mistress - no doubt.
And I felt SO embarrassed by her actions! Yes, it affects me cause it's throwing a VERY BAD light upon people like us.
No matter WHO she was doing this to, how dares she?!
This is not okay! It's absolutely wrong and the lowest level possible to force yourself upon someone the way she did!
Like I say, it's not of importance WHO she did it to. It's important that she did it in the first place. I would SO LOVE to find out who she is cause trust me, I'd have a word with that b....!
Again, sorry for venting but this is again a thing that makes me boil on the inside!
8 comments ·
Views: 53 · Added: 22 hours ago
Hi everyone! Here's wishing all my friends here on ST that are in the States a very Happy Thanksgiving or a Happy Spanksgiving! I wish for all of you to have things in your life that you are thankful for. I know I am thankful for my family and all my friends her on
ST. May you all have someone to Spank you and someone that needs spanking! Whatever you choose, may it be fantastic! Huggies!,
Views: 36 · Added: 23 hours ago
Thinking of trying some new things and expanding my resources. Been on my mind awhile and would love to try some new adventures and new ways to play and explore myself and my abilities.
Have not figured out the how and the way to do it hehehe but is something I would love to delve into and see where it takes me. Am always up for challenging myself to be better and do so much more than I thought I could as it gives me a thrill to be the best at whatever I do for myself and no one else. It is a journey of self discovery and one I cant wait to see happen and see what the future brings with it.
I haven't done much with the cane in my videos. Is one that has bad memories for me but am thinking it is time to try it again and step out of the past and embrace the future. Am sure will be short ones to start but hey at least the willingness is there :)
Also am wanting a tawse as that is such a huge turn on and yet the ouch from it makes it piont felt effectively. Have pushed some limits to take some amazing swats but there is so much in me that I wish to expand those limits and go further and do so much more. Not out of a desire to just do it or try it but to grow and find that new level that I am seeking. I can't wait to see what is to come for me but am excited to jump in and see what happens. Love, hugs, and a naughty Thanksgiving day as today I celebrate a new begining.
Views: 51 · Added: 1 days ago
The end of the semester is approaching!! have you been a good student? Are you making good grades or do you need extra help staying focused towards the end as many students do? If so, we have some work to do so don't be shy sending a message, that goes for any other naughty young lady in Florida as well ;)
Views: 156 · Added: 1 days ago
I just read from someone on the net (famous guy, can't name him on here) that these online-communities - or friends should not really considered being like some kind of expanded family. Since we're all "ghosts" and not real.
Couldn't help but cracking my brain over that one.
So we are NOT REAL? lol... sure if you put it that way, as in fb-friends are no real friends and twitter is just the same thing... Of COURSE real people in your every day life go over online aquaintances, don't they?
Cause they are THERE and Real. You can touch them, feel them, talk to them face to face. But at the same time that would mean our little community here is all just fake. Make-believe and phony.
Do you feel like you only met phony people on here?
Cause I don't. I DO know many on here - personally and through skype and there is a bond. Not quite a faimily bond, that's clear, but we DO have a connection and an understanding. Especially when it comes to our fantasies and kink.
Many members on here are too shy to go out and meet some real person for personal reasons. But that doesn't necesasarily mean you don't have friends around the world, does it? It's just different kind of friends.
But to me they are all very precious and of value. Everybody I'm in touch with - good or bad - leaves a footprint in my life. It depends on how large that footprint is - due to circumstances. But if you try real hard, you can find and have friends for a lifetime. Which is mostlikely not that easy to find in "real life"
Just some random thoughts I had to get out of my system.
Happy Thanksgiving to all the Americans!
13 comments ·
Views: 115 · Added: 1 days ago
Hey, Grandpa, what’s for supper?
Well, we got turkey bones, and boar’s hair bristles,
Cold, congealed fat and lots of gristle,
We got squirrel butt stew and sparrow feet,
Buzzard wings and road-kill meat.
We got soured milk in a rusty pail,
And leftover beans from the county jail.
There’s a half of a doughnut that somebody bit,
And the last three bites of a banana split.
There’s a buttermilk slurry of discarded slaw
That you can eat with a spoon
Or suck up through a straw.
There’s slimy lettuce, ranch dressing, too,
And cow’s eye soup with a boiled shoe.
We got scoops of lard straight out of the box,
Boiled goat tongues and fried horse cocks.
There’s an out-of-date carton of old cottage cheese,
A few chicken necks and gopher knees.
To wash it all down, we’ve got straight castor bean oil,
And some day-old coffee that we can re-boil.
We’ll all dig in once the Lord has been thanked—
And if you don’t want to eat, you’ll have to be spanked.
12 comments ·
Views: 233 · Added: 1 days ago
Die Strafe kommt von meinem Herrchen, wofür war die eig. Martin??? :P
hmm man weiß es nicht so genau.... aber mein Martin war wieder soooooo süß zu mir und hat mir wieder was gebastelt *-*
Ein wunderschönes schmales Paddle hab ich bekommen und dazu noch Minzöl und Desinfektionsmittel zur Nachbehandlung von meinem roten Po *-*
DAAAAAAANKE dafür mein Großer
eure Lilly ^^
47 comments ·
Views: 57 · Added: 1 days ago
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone, Enjoy Yourselves, Stay Safe Out There, And Please Don't Drink And Drive!
Views: 82 · Added: 1 days ago
Although I do not yet know you I am here to find you. No this is not some Michael Buble knock off line. I know there is someone very special created just for me as I was for her. Please do not hold it against me that I picked the wrong one the first time around. Don't think there is any regret in me either. I learn from my life experiences and move ever forward. My profile describes a lot. There is a lot left unsaid. If you like what you see so far please message or friend me so I do not miss finding you. This is a very large site with many members. If interested do not leave our meeting to serendipity. I was raised to be a gentleman and pursue a lady but I give my word I will not think any less of you as a lady if you simply say hi and give me a chance to introduce myself. I am eager to find you and I will know you when I do. I have always been a one woman man and although I may not have experience with very many women I am positive I know what I am looking for. Do not mistake me for a man with a lack of experience in the realm of being a man for my woman. I know how to build a woman as well as break her when necessary. You will be treated with the highest regard until you earn otherwise. I am not devoid of bedroom games involving our common fantasies around the reason we are both here but understand there will be clear differences between the two. If you are still interested please help me find you faster. Have we not both wasted enough time in our lives as it is?
Views: 47 · Added: 1 days ago
My wife sitting there on a straight back chair in her black leather pants waiting to give me a spanking over her knees was so exciting.
I had never felt this kind of erection before and so wanted her to take me over her knees and feel the soft black leather against my bare skin.
You are going to be a very sorry young man by the time I get through spanking you and when you act like a naughty little boy I am going to punish you like one my wife scolded.
Stand on my right side she then said and I walked over to where she wanted me with my pants and underwear around my ankles.
My wife sat up straight and put the hairbrush in her lap.
She reached out and took my hand restraints, put the on my wrists and locked them in front of me.
I started to dread what was comming, but I knew I needed and deserved the hard spanking I was going to recieve.
My wife picked up her hairbrush and looked at me with a stern look.
Over my knees young man.
Yes maam I said and layed myself over my wifes leather clad knees.
I could feel my erection rubbing against her left thigh and felt very embarassed and excited about it.
My wife ajusted my position over her knees and then reached down and secured my hand restraints around on of the chairs legs.
Now laying there over my wifes leather clad knnes there was nothing I could do to prevent her from giving my my well deserved spanking and I soon felt the cool surface of her wooden hairbrush on my bare bottom.
Let this be a lesson to you young man my wife said and raised her hairbrush high over my bare bottom.
I heard the impact of her wooden hairbrush on my bare bottom as she started spanking me and a second after I felt a roaring pain in my bare bottom.
Then there was another impact and the pain intensified even more.
I tried to catch my breath, but I had a hard time taking the hard spanking my wife was giving me.
She spanked me hard and fast and held me firmly in palce over her knees.
The wooden hairbrush stung like never before and I was soon kicking legs in agony.
My wife was very determined to teach me a lesson and kept the spanks comming very fast and hard.
Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek.
I was getting a very hard spanking and had to fight hard to keep from begging her to stop allready and I knew I still had the bathbrush and cane to deal with.
After what seemed like forever my wife put her hairbrush down and started lecturing me about my behavior and added some hard hand spanks with it.
I apologized and promised never to do it again, but I knew I was not going anywhere until I had been thoroughly spanked and I knew that ment I was going to be sobbing before my punishment would end.
My wife stopped lecturing me, picked up the cane and gave me a very hard spanking with it.
It did not take my wife long to make tears forming in my eyes and I just tried to take my spanking the best way I could.
I begged and yelled for her not to spank me anymore, but she paid no attention to it and kept spanking me with the cane.
After a very hard doze to my sitspots my wife got the result she wanted.
Tears was running down my face and I was crying loudly.
It seems like I am getting through to you young man my wife said in a stern voice and put the cane down.
But your lesson is far from over young man my wife scolded.
I am going to make sure you remember this spanking for the rest of your life and you will be a very sorry young man by the time i send you to the corner.
Now it is time to finish your spanking off young man my wife said and picked up the wooden bathbrush.
This is going to hurt young man, but you have only yourself to blame for this spanking.
She brought the bathbrush down hard on my red and sore bottom and really gave me a blistering, that reduced me to a sobbing little boy over her knees.
I had given up fighting at that point and just layed there limb over her leather clad knees and I was sobbing hard with every smack my wife gave me with the bathbrush.
Finally she stopped my spanking, put down the bathbrush and unlucked my hand restraints.
Stand up young man she said and when I did I could see big staines of pre cum on her black leather pants, where my erection had rubbed against her thigh as she spanked me.
Very embarassed I stood in front of her and thanked her for punishing me and apologizing for my naughty behavior.
Go stand in the corner young man and think about the consequenses of your naughty behavior.
Keep your hands at your side at all times and DO NOT rub your bottom.
If I as much as hear a word form you or you dare touch your bottom, you will go straight back over my knees.
Is that understood young man my wife said?
Yes maam I said and hurried to the corner and burried my head in shame.
I was given 15 minutes of cornertime and had stopped crying be the time my wife allowed me to turn around.
How does you bottom feel she asked?
I sat down and it did not feel to bad.
It is okay, not so much pain and not as bad as I expected I said.
My wife stood up from the sofa where she had been sitting and walked over to the straight back chair again.
Not as bad as you expected she said in a very stern voice?
Well let us change that right away she said and sat down on the chair again.
No please I tried to say, but she had a very determined look on her face and I knew I was going back over her knees.
My wife picked up the cane and took me over her leather clad knees again and gave me a hard and thorough caning on my bare bottom.
But as my hands now were free I kept reaching back to protect my bottom and at some point she got mad.
Get up young man my wife scolded.
I did as she told me and she put my hand restraints back on me.
I was told to get over her knees again and she locked them around the leg of the chair.
My wife then continued to spank me with the cane and had me kicking my legs in agony and pain.
At some point my bottom went kind of numb from the caning i was recieving and my wife decided to put the cane down.
Instead she picked up the bathbrush and started spanking me with it, but because she had given me a good hard caning and my bottom had gotten numb and I could not really feel the smacks she was giving me.
How does this feel like young man my wife asked and gave me some very hard smacks.
I was in a form of trance and I really wanted her to really punish me hard, so I acted kind of sassy at the time and I said the wrong thing.
I can hardly feel them was my reply.
The minute I said that I knew I had made a mistake and I felt her left hand tighten around my hips.
You can hardly feel them she said in an very stern voice.
Well let us make sure you can feel them from now on them she scolded and put more force into her smacks and speeded up the intensity of my spanking.
I sure felt every smack from that point and before long, she had reduced me to a sobbing little boy again.
I begged and sobbed, but my wife would hear none of it and kept spanking me very hard with the bathbrush.
I felt pain like never before and when my wife finally stopped my spanking I was bawling my eyes out, begging and promissing to be a good boy.
Have you had enough young my wife asked and through my tears I said that I had and apologized for being sassy to her.
Good now stand up she said and unlocked my hand restraints.
I did and jumped around from one foot to another to ease the pain in my bottom.
Back in the corner young man and keep your hands at you side my wife said.
The chair and my implements will remain here until I say you can come out of the corner.
I WILL not hesitate to put you back over my knees if you touch your bottom young man.
Is that understood my wife asked in a stern voice?
Yes maam I said and went to the corner still sobbing like a naughty little boy.
I was given half an hour of cornertime and stood there until I had stopped crying and then I was told that my punishment was over.
My wife went to the bathroom and got some cold cream to rub into my crimson red and swollen bottom.
I had purple and black bruises on my bottom and had to sleep on my stomack for 2 whole days, because of the pain in my bottom.
I got the spanking I deserved and needed and even though I still have bruises a week later, I love my wife for giving me what I crave.
Views: 40 · Added: 1 days ago
One day last week my wife came home from work early and caught me playing with her spanking implements and her black leather pants.
I was soo embarassed and did not know what to say as she stood there looking at me and what I was doing.
She just shook her head and told me to put the things away and said nothing more about it.
Standing there I had expected her to give me a proper and hard spanking on the spot, but she let it slide at that point and went on with her tasks and did some e-mailing.
I thought that I had gotten away with being naughty and had forgotten all about my bad behavior, until last friday.
Going out to do some things and some shopping with my wife that friday I saw her put her black leather pants on and got a feeling in my stomack, that maybe she had not forgotten.
I say that because when she wears her black leather pants, I very often end up getting a spanking at the end of the day.
I wondered and was getting a little excited, thinking about what could happen later that evening.
When we came home we made a nice dinner and relaxed a little, before I had to go and hang up some laundry.
When I was finished I sat in the sofa and looked through the news on the web.
My wife had then gone to the bathroom and she was gone for a long time, so I decided to go and see what she was doing.
I found her standing in the shower cleaning the tiles with clohrine.
She had taken her black leather pants of so she would not stain them and was standing in a pair of sweat pants.
I went back into the livingroom and hoped that she would put the leather pants back on before she came back into the livingroom.
She did not and I felt a little disappointed, because I sooo wanted to be spanked over her leather clad knees.
She did some texting and sent some e-mails while watching an awardshow and as time went by, I gave up hope that I would get my bottom spanked that night.
When around ten at night my wife put her phone down and stood up.
She went to the dining table and pulled out a straight back chair.
Placing the chair in the middle of the room she looked at me with determination in her eyes.
Go and get my leather pants and my ankle boots young man my wife said very calm and the words sent shivers through my spine and made me get an instant erection.
I always get a spanking when my wife calls me young man and I got up trying not to show her my hard erection as I passed her on the way to the bathroom.
I got her leather pants and ankle boots, came back into the livingroom, where she was standing by the chair and gave them to her.
My wife sat down on the chair and put her black leather pants on.
Standing there in front of her was thrilling and very exciting and I was totally unable to do anything about the huge bulge in my pants.
She put her ankle boots on and stood up towering over me and looked me straight in the eyes.
Do not think I have forgotten about last week young man she said and stood with her hands on her hips.
You were a very nauhgty boy last week and it is time for me to teach you a lesson young man my wife scolded.
Go and get my hairbrush, the bathbrush and my cane young man she said and pointed to our bedroom.
Oh and do remember to bring your hand restraints, I want you to feel every smack I am going to give you.
Yes maam I said, blushing and went to fetch the implements I was told to bring.
As I came back my wife had closed the door to the hallway and made my naughty spot ready for cornertime.
She then sat down on the straight back chair making her black leather pants swish and creak as she found the perfect position to deliver an over the knee spanking.
I was then told to stand in front of her and did as I was told.
The excitement was enourmous and my erection was hard not to miss for my wife, but since this is not the first time she has spanked me, she had gotten used to it.
What were you thinking young man my wife said in a stern voice?
I have told you time and time again, that you are not to play with my leather pants and still I keep catching you doing it.
What am I suppossed to do about that young man my wife asked?
I do not know I whispered in a low voice, feeling very embarassed and blushing deep red.
Well I do know young man my wife said, picked up her wooden hairbrush and tapped her left hand a couple of times.
You have been a very naughty young man and you are going to get a good hard bare bottom spanking over my knees until I am sure you will NEVER do it again.
Is that understood young man?
Yes maam I said getting even more excited.
Put your hands on your head, while I prepare you for your spanking young man my wife said and I obeyed her.
I then felt my wife unbuckle my pants and pull them down to my ankles. Very embarassed and excited about the situation, my erection was about to escape my underwear and I could not even look at my wife as she was preparing me for my spanking.
She then put her fingers into the elastic waistband of my underwear and pulled then down to my pants around my ankles.
My hard erection stood out right in my wifes face and I was so embarassed.
I felt drops of pre cum dripping on the floor as I stood there naked from the waist down.
Feelings of humiliation and embarasment rolled over me at I stood there in front of my wife, obviesly excited about the spanking I was about to recieve.
It seems like you are looking forward to this spanking young man my wife said on touched my hard erection.
Well enjoy it while you can, because it will go away very quickly when I start spanking you with my hairbrush.
Views: 46 · Added: 2 days ago
We would like to take just a moment to say from all of us here at True Home DD to everyone here a happy and wonderful Thanks Giving and a happy and wonderful holiday season.
Also we would like to say to all of our service men and women both at Home and Serving Abroad Thank you for your service and have a safe and happy holiday season and happy Thanks giving, We are thinking of you and have you in our thoughts
Until later, Be Well, Spank hard, See ya
Lordikai and the Whole True Home DD Family
Views: 96 · Added: 2 days ago
Hello to everyone here. I'm new here, but not exactly inexperienced.
I'm lurking, watching and learning about the exploits of all our regular posters and must say I find many of you fun and interesting.
I've made friend requests of a couple of you and hope to soon chat.
4 comments ·
Views: 136 · Added: 2 days ago
Trying to stay calm, I am about to receive my first discipline spanking. I am scared to death. I have always looked at it as a negative thing. Growing up I wasn't spanked but when I was in trouble my parents emotionally alienated me, I hated myself because I knew I let them down and couldn't talk to them because they ignored me. My top has my complete trust, which is the only reason I am ok with this. But I can't help but be scared and feel like he's mad at me, like he's hitting me because he wants to hurt me. I know I know better than that but convincing myself after a lifetime of hurt feelings is making it difficult to accept. He will be here as soon as he gets off work and i'm already fighting tears, partly because I feel bad for doing wrong, but also because I know that despite the trust we have built, at the time of the spanking, I will take it personally and feel the hurt on a deeper level than just skin. The more painful it is the more i'll wonder if what i did was so extremely awful that he has to hit me to get even. I will take it and hope that when its over he doesn't hate me, god knows I already hate myself. At the same time, I am embarrassed because i know I will turn into a blubbering mess during the spanking and don't want to appear weak. I am a very strong minded person in my life, I am the one my family goes to with their problems. I am the strong one, and now I am about to allow myself to be weak in front of another person. It's a conflict in itself. I want him to see me as strong too, but I fear what the spanking will reduce me to. Despite all of this I am going through with it anyway, hoping that it strengthens our trust in each other rather than destroy it. That said, taking the plunge, wish me luck!
7 comments ·
Views: 104 · Added: 2 days ago
Perhaps it's just me, but most of the videos being posted leave me bored to tears. For a start, lots of them are repeat postings, but also there seems to be very little imagination being shown. Some of them do manage to be interesting (maybe one in twenty), but the majority are not. So, is it just me? I'd love to hear from others.
Views: 68 · Added: 2 days ago
I don't usually have a desire to spanked by a man but damn when I do it comes on strong. While I have a strong preference towards woman sometimes on rare occasions I wish a tall strong man would toss me over his knee. I use to have a friend, a real bear of a human being, that my girlfriend knew and was comfortable with giving me a spanking when I needed/wanted it. Unfortunately for me we now live a couple of states apart.
3 comments ·